I am amazed over and over how God provides for us. I wonder why that is, since He proves faithfulness over and over. And yet every time, I think, "Wow, that was unexpected." Maybe if I came to expect it the awe-ness would be lost.

Hard to believe Cameron is five today. I can go back in my mind and remember wanting a baby so badly, getting pregnant, getting fat, his birth and bringing him home. So much has changed since then (baby weight, not so much...still working on that one). He is maturing, yet still a baby. He formulates his thoughts so clearly, yet still can't pronounce his r's. He is a huge help, but some days....I am just grateful that God is allowing me to enjoy this journey called parenthood. Some say it's all about balance, but I believe with faith and chocolate, anything can be accomplished.

Summer camps completed: Check

Mission trip to Moldova completed: Check

Cameron ready for school: Check

Mini vacations to various friends and family: Check

Cadet settled into the Training College: Check

It's easy for me to make lists. It keeps me on track and helps me focus on what I've accomplished. It's also easy to make everything something else to be completed, instead of enjoying where I am, where we are as a family, as a congregation, as an Army.

Cameron (almost 5) has picked up on this habit of planning, and often plans days, weeks, months ahead. I will admit that it's all my fault and that he was probably planning the minute he was born. It can be helpful or annoying, a blessing or a curse. I like itineraries. I enjoy Post-It notes. I like making spreadsheets because everything can fit into a column. I love buying things at the Container Store and when fall comes, I'm all over the back-to-school sales because they have dorm stuff...which means new organizing materials galore!

The problem, at least according to my husband, is that the more "organizing stuff" I buy, the more stuff I need to fill it, which becomes a vicious cycle for our household. If I have some cute bins, I need stuff to put it in. If I get too much of that stuff, I need some more cute bins. And so on.

I want to live simpler. I even have a magazine subscription to "Real Simple" (which my mother-in-law pointed out had 235 pages last month...not too simple), given to me as a gift. I have a friend who lives very simply, and as a Salvation Army officer (pastor) has very few boxes to pack as they move every few years. I want that. I want to be able to let go of my "stuff", including hurt feelings and old regrets. Do I need it (whatever "it" is)? Can I use it? Can someone else benefit from it? If not, let's get rid of it. Recycle it. Donate it. Sell it. And those old regrets and hurt feelings...."But even there you can look for the Lord your God, and you will find him if you look for him with your whole being. It will be hard when all these things happen to you. But after that you will come back to the Lord your God and obey him, because the Lord your God is a merciful God. He will not leave you or destroy you." Deuteronomy 4:29-31 (NCV)